I've always followed my passions. I might have been born with this instinct and drive. I was unstoppable, especially during my preschool years. I walked and talked early, learned concepts early, went to school early, discovered the disparity between religiosity and faith early (which prompted me to stop going to church altogether); a very precocious child who went for what she wanted to do. When I know I can do something and I enjoyed doing it...I just plunged, dove in. Despite criticisms, negativities and setbacks, I'd go out there and explore all my skills and talents. If I did not seem to have the talent for it (may it be an art, or sport), I would learn it, and from somewhere within me...it just grows and flows. There was no saying "No" to my passions.
But, even then, it was a lonely road...because my passions were considered "extra-curricular". These passions, talents and skills didn't get me on the list of honor students. I was just this talented kid who entertained people, who organized fellow students to create dance numbers and other presentations. I was "above average", but Math, Science and all those other subjects bored me. I would rather dance, perform, read, sing in a choir, than sit in class to listen to my teachers' lectures. And, getting into a school for the arts was a privilege given to those who could afford to engage in such "lucrative" pursuits, or to those who can somehow "encourage" the teachers to recommend them to those rare educational institutions.
So, yes I followed my passions then, and felt myself swimming against the tide and all for the wrong reasons (this I only realized recently, during the last three months of 2010). I followed my passions not to understand and celebrate who I was, but to rebel against my parents' wishes, or to prove to others that I was worthy.
And, I'm sure I'm not alone in this struggle. There are a lot of stories out there, similar stories of how difficult it was to be a child, or be a young artist (looking for love and support); how artists have accepted the notion that if they pursue their passion and life's purpose, they will "starve" and instead they take on other jobs, or learn other skills rather than focus on being the best artist they can be.
This year, as I fully accept my Self and my purpose, I say NO to compromising my passions and dreams to survive, or to have a safe and secure job. Why will I choose survival when doing so kills my spirit?
And wait, look at the people who venture into the arts, theater and sports in other countries, they are thriving successfully! Yes, we can't compare their situation with ours, but honestly, what is our obstacle? What does one need to create great art? Oneself.
Why do we need other people to recognize the talent that resides in each one of us? Because we are blinded by our fears and false beliefs, by the centuries of criticism from our colonizers, ingrained voices in our heads that we have accepted as our own?
If we start recognizing and eventually fully allowing our authentic selves to come out, our light to shine forth, we have so much to offer to this world. How many talented singers do we have like Charice Pempengco? How many tough boxers do we have like Manny Pacquiao? The difference is that they have cultivated their spirits, they have seen who they really are and they are just sharing themselves to the world. If each one of us can do that and start manifesting our deepest desires, we will rise from this poverty that, for me, is really just in our heads.
So, in the next days, weeks and months to come...I shall, hopefully, be able to document my personal process of empowerment, from following my passions to manifesting my dreams through this blog. Here's to the promise of fulfillment for myself, and for all of us!
